Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing...

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing....

You know it is so easy to remain a victim of the past, and I have this conversation with many clients and friends on regular basis.

Unfortunately we have not been thought in school how to think, how to behave,how to understand ourselves (basic things wright?)

I mean Math and History and Geography is great stuff but if you don't know what to do with yourself in life how does all that help you?

We were not thought what self image, self esteem, self motivation, self confidence is...

Therefore so many people can't look you in the eyes and give you a powerful hand shake - clear sign of lack of confidence... some of you might say ...o big deal - oh, yes it is - in more ways than you can imagine.

You know the expression....We never get a second chance to a first impression?

Probably you lost your job interview at hand shake....A good leader has great Intuition and will sens your lack of confidence in 2 sec. flat and this is just one example.

Another very important aspect of life that we were never explained is that as adults we have the power to change our Habits that don't serve us any longer.

As children we copy what our parents do and say we know that, then as adults we continue....

I used to hate my mothers nagging growing up....and guess what? I grew up to do exactly what I hated ....we don't do that because we are bad people, it just feels normal and familiar,we copy authority figures in our lives.

So, as an adult I took responsibility for my actions and decided that what I didn't like probably nobody else liked and change it.
Yes, it takes awareness and commitment but trough repetition we can change any Habit (I mean it took us 15,20,25.... years to form that Habit it's not going to change overnight) but the same way we formed that Habit we can form another.

But you have to know that it takes awareness,understanding, self study and self control.....and it also takes leaving victim hood behind and taking responsibility for our actions.

Most of us can't do this on our own, we all need guidance,mentors,help,we need someone to challenge our beliefs so we can brake trough our Barriers. Until we do that no major changes will happen in our lives.

As adults we have the ability to choose and to control our ATTITUDE....
We can control how we do the things we do.


Study self faithfully and learn from any circumstance and situation,learn something new everyday my friends.
How are you doing on that?

Please leave your thoughts below.


  1. Excellent article, as usual. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and wisdom with us.

  2. Great message! Wanda at

  3. Great article,realy enjoyed.
    Dave at

  4. Some thing I needed to read. I'm a victim of the past. Some times its hard to get over things. Thought I should get over it, I still have not got over some thing which happened a few years ago. I know i'm being retarded, but I cannot help it :p

  5. Thank you Bob, Connect-A-S, Dave and System for your kind comments

  6. System(couldn't find your name), most of us can't change things on our own as I mentioned in the post...but that's why there are Coaches and Mentors who can help with whatever our Goals,Habits etc. So you can help it, if you want to my dear. Just look for the right person.
    I'm a Coach and I also have a Mentor, we need someone to push our limits and help over barriers, Beliefs, Paradigms.

  7. Choice is a central concept for life. Embracing it allows us to create the life we want, to live it to its fullest, to be who we want to be. We can choose to take from the past what we need and cherish and leave behind what we want to take into our future.

  8. I completely agree! I especially would like to comment on what we are taught in school. I know math, history etc are important but what about those things that kids may not be getting at home (due to single parents, parents working 3 jobs, various other distractions) like goal setting, positive thinking, self awareness and confidence, conflict and resolution etc...

    Those are very critical to self development and I truly believe we r missing the mark.

    Great read!